We’ve made it through another week together. Life is good, work hasn’t made me totally insane yet…so here is some Random Friday stuff.
Beyonce document on Netflix. Didn’t watch it. Don’t care. Don’t understand everyone’s fascination with her. Can we bring Madonna back please?
The Princess Bride. A musical. Oh, hell’s no. I’m inwardly (and outwardly) gagging as I think of Buttercup and Welsey breaking into song. The entire shenanigans is inconceivable.
Shhh..why are you on your speaker phone? Has anyone noticed an increasing trend in people using their cell phones on speaker…in public…like, in a grocery store. I don’t know why they even think we want to both sides of the conversation. I didn’t even want to hear one side. Get an ear buds like the rest of us. Sure, we look like we’re talking to ourselves. But, at least it’s half as annoying.
Vegan oxymorons* are running rampant. Cauliflower “steak”. Vegan “Pulled Pork” Vegan “Cheese”. I’m not crapping all over the vegans when I tell you all to LEAVE OUR MEAT WORDS ALONE. Please call the food what it is:
Cauliflower Steak = Cauliflower Slab
Vegan Pulled Pork = Jack fruit with BBQ sauce
Vegan Cheese = Ground up nuts flavored with herbs and salt
A cake for every occasion. But, a vasectomy cake? Sure. I guess so. I’m looking for any reason to celebrate. Now I can celebrate you having surgery on your junk. Does asking for extra frosting make it weird? This Nashville bakery is making it awesome.
Kanye West is Jesus? Or at least he thinks he is. Or maybe he’s a preacher? Apparently he has discovered a new personality to mix with all of the other ones in his head. His holiness brought his brand of crazy to Coachella this year and the people are not impressed. (link here)
Keto crotch? As if I needed another reason to avoid weird diet fads. Keto is messing with our vajayjays. (Check it out here) Also, the photos in this article make it that much more uncomfortable to think about.
That’s it. That’s all. Until next week
*I would like to thank the guy at the car wash for helping me remember the word “oxymoron.” I was staring up in the air and he asked me what I was doing. When I explained, the word popped out of his mouth. We then proceeded to chat for 15 minutes while waiting for our cars. He told me his daughter got married and the Lutheran priest started the ceremony channeling “The Princess Bride” Maaaaaaaaawhage. “Super creepy this happened because I had just written the line about the musical. Weird juju in the air at the car wash.