Are you listening to my new podcast Eating Cake By the Ocean? Well, why not?
Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor….I so want to hate that name but I can’t!!! Why Meghan? Why did you give your beautiful baby the name of a cranky, old man who sits on his porch and yells at kids to get off his lawn.
Nostril hair extensions are a fashion thing? Read here. If so, I shall stop plucking for maybe a month and become the Next Top Model. Hairy girls unite!
Salad as finger food. I like to eat my salad and veggies with my fingers. (not in public, of course) There is something tactility satisfying about it. It also helps when the Caesar salad croutons are so hard they shatter when you spear them with your fork.
A Cup Holder for Your Boobs. I know mine still fit in a training bra, but will someone please buy me this pool float. Thank you. Also, please pay to have a pool installed in my back yard. Muchas Gracias
I just found out….there is an actual Santa Claus school. You can attend for 3 days in October and it’s only held once per year.
Did you know there is something called a Death Master File? (aka DMF) The Social Security Administration handles it. I listened to the Stuff You Should Know Podcast “What Happens When The Government Thinks You’re Dead” Don’t look at me like that! I’m on Day 5 of not having full time employment. My brain requires new information daily to keep from getting moldy.
Ma’am, do you have a gator in your pants? 2 days ago, a woman was stopped for a traffic violation that ended with pulling a baby alligator out of her yoga pants. I have been trying to think of a camel toe combined with gator joke to put with this one, but it is just too disturbing to think about.
That’s it. That’s all. Until next week.
Smooches… Mandy xoxo